theNest

So the other day I found a note – from a boy – in Madeline’s backpack. Hmmm. All it said was, “Meet me by the tables.” I thought about it for a minute and then decided to ask her about it. She said that she had started recycling with some boys in her 3rd grade class during lunchtime. Okay, no big deal. I forgot something in the whole note writing thing though…that she may have written him back. I ran into the mother of the boy yesterday and she informed me what my dear daughter was writing to him. Hmmm. Nothing bad, but Madeline and I did have a chat. I asked her what she wrote to him and she told me she “forgot.” Okay, I didn’t prod her because if she doesn’t feel like she wants to tell me, that’s okay by me. Plus, I already knew what she wrote anyway. But I gave her 2 parental  insights to the situation. First, no writing notes in class! Focus on your studies, girlfriend. Second, never write anything that can’t be announced to the rest of the class. If someone were to get a hold of some precious “secret” words, it has the potential – imminent potential – of being announced to some people that would make fun of her and embarrass her to tears.

It reminds me of the time I wrote a nasty note in 7th grade. I was extremely upset at a girl that was spreading untrue rumors about me. I wrote in my note how I would love to beat her up and get everyone to hate her. Well, the teacher walked by and asked me to give her the note. She went back to her desk and read it. I was mortified that she may read it to the class, as this has been known to happen. Instead, she folded it back up and called me to her desk. She handed me the note back and told me to go see “Cowboy Callahan,” the Vice Principal. Mr. Callahan was a nice man but occasionally we would hear him over the loudspeaker, “This here is Cowboy Callahan and – yee-haw – it’s time for a Tardy Round-up!! Teachers, lock your doors and send your tardies to the MPR for a detention slip.” I never once got detention for Tardy Round-up. In fact, I had never been in trouble before. So I took the note and went to the office. I sat and waited for him to see me and when he called me in, I just handed him the note and started to cry. He wasn’t happy about it but also asked me why I was so angry against the girl. I told him that she spread rumors about me and I didn’t know what else to do than rally other girls to hate her. He gave me a few tips for dissolving such situations, asking for help from teachers if I needed to. But then he said he is going to have to call my parents because they needed to know. Darn. That episode temporarily ended my note writing career and I definitely didn’t write anything that others couldn’t read.

I did tell my baby girl about my note writing experience – leaving out the beat-up and hating parts. Hopefully, she learned from my lesson and from her own embarrassment of knowing her mom found a note and read it. I had my chat with her in hopes that I may have possibly spared her some pain and embarrassment of others finding words written in secret.